Why Being Bored is the Key to Taking Control of Your Life

Do you want to be happy? Well, answer me this. When was the last time you allowed yourself to be bored?

Think about it. Every day in the past couple of months, I am sure that as soon as you wake up, you check your phone. You check your messages, you check social media, you check your work phone, you run for the coffee machine or kettle, take a shower, rush into clothes, pour your breakfast into your mouth along with your beverage of choice, and bolt out the door as if you were escaping a heist, rushing off to work.

Then all the tasks of the day emerge, and your level of stress spikes, and throughout the day you are in a perpetual loop of needing to get things done as soon as you can, again increasing your overall stress. More tasks arise, and you start to feel overwhelmed, not only by the sheer workload, but also because emotionally you have been on high alert from the second that you woke up and now adrenaline is kicking in as you start to panic about all of the tasks you need to complete.

Lunch comes alomng and might be with friends or colleagues, and again, not a breath of time nor a pause for you to take control of yourself and your emotions, as you listen to Karen tell you about her problems with her boyfriend, or hear about how unfair things are in life and general complaints that start to shift the way you think about life. Is life really that bad, and is it really not a choice?

Fast forward to the afternoon, you are almost done working, and as soon as you finish and have packed up, said sayonara and jumped in the car or onto the bus or train home, whatever your transport of choice may be, you jump on your phone again, texting friends, looking at your social media posts and stories and likes and comments, then jump into your reels and shorts and what-not that feed you with some stimulation and entertainment.

But if you hold up for a second, and listen to how this all sounds, I want you to reflect with me here. Does this sound like a person who is in control of their day, their desires, their emotions, their sense of purpose and destiny in life, and their overall well-being and happiness? I don’t think it takes an Einstein to infer from this description that life is running this person, not the reverse.

Well, what is going on? Why did this happen, and how can it be changed? Well, somewhere along the way, this person found complacency and even happiness in his or her day-to-day job, enjoyed the process and progress, but as soon as they plateaued out and felt like they weren’t evolving anymore, they tried to take on more responsibility. They put more effort in, which is actually a great thing to do, but the problem is that it was done without a sense of direction. Despite not really enjoying their current work, they pushed harder and let the job consume their time, and perceived that they needed to perform perfectly in order to be noticed or to get somewhere in life. I’m sure that many of us may not have necessarily reached this state of dissatisfaction and resulted to using more effort, but rather instead opted to use less effort, as there was no clear reward from putting more effort in.

As a consequence of doing either, that is, either going all-in and giving 110% effort, or giving 10% effort and then still getting caught in a loop of complacency and using all your free time for checking social media, playing video games, socializing, and what not, the end result is the same. Life is now running you, you are not running your life.

Well, what can we do to fix this? There is only one thing which can be done, and this sounds rather silly to say, but it is to remove all distractions and sources of stimulation, and spend time just with yourself and your thoughts. Have you tried to lock your phone, put it and your other tablets and computers away, and sat down by yourself with no background music or other things going on around you, and thought about your life and reflected on where you are and what you actually want?

It would be fantastic if you gave yourself the chance to experience this. It is hard to do once you get started, as you are used to being constantly doing something and distracting yourself with something, but the more you practice it, the freer you will feel. And, you will get to know yourself, what you want, and gain the insight and energy to actually change things that you don’t like about your life.

I would love to hear from you how this exercise makes you feel, even if you are trying it for the first time, so please send me a message below about it (do, I actually want you to try first before sending me an e-mail).

There is more to come, so stick around. See you soon…